Can a person fully appreciate happiness without also experiencing sadness?
(This was inspired by a blog post from my friend Kelly. Thanks Kel!)

To fully understand an emotion, one has to experience it. If someone describes to me what it feels like to have a loved one with Alzheimer’s, I can imagine what it might feel like, but my guess is going to be wrong, probably absurdly wrong, because I haven’t been in this situation. Similarly, to fully understand an emotion, one probably has to experience it at different magnitudes, and probably has to experience the emotion’s opposite (if it has one), or at least the absence of the emotion.

It’s quite common for people who experience temporary suffering to emerge with a heightened sense of well-being. Maybe it’s because they then know that they can endure the suffering and will make it through. Maybe their suffering has given them a deeper appreciation of the times when they aren’t suffering. Maybe it has led to some insight critical to their personal development. Regardless of the reason, one could make a strong case that a life that was mostly happy but had occasional, brief, not-too-intense suffering is actually to be preferred over a life that was entirely happy. (Intense or prolonged suffering is an entirely different matter, of course, and not to be wished upon even one’s worst enemy.)

One problem is with the labels "happiness" and "sadness" themselves. Obviously we need to name things in order to communicate with others about them, but this is usually a dangerous oversimplification. I remember arguing with my second-grade teacher when she claimed that there were seven continents and four oceans. For me, that was the beginning of a gradual realization that just about everything is spectral and not yes/no, and the labels are merely an approximation of the truth.

With concepts like emotional states, things are even cloudier. Are happiness and sadness really opposites? How does happiness compare with contentment, or pleasure? Is joy simply extreme happiness, or is there something more to it? I have thought about these questions a lot but have only partial, unsatisfying answers. By continuing to talk with others who have experienced emotional states with the same labels I’m using, and by discussing the details of their experiences, I hope to eventually have a better understanding of the emotions.

Most people tend to insulate themselves from strong emotions instead of welcoming them. When I first read about the principles of Buddhism, a lot of it made sense to me. But Buddhism professes a policy of non-attachment and avoidance of passion, which I think deprives followers of a lot of what it means to be human. A more enlightened approach might allow for a great reduction in suffering without requiring non-attachment. Given the choice between a life checkered by happy times and sad times and one lived in a grayness that knows neither highs nor lows, I know which I’d choose.